so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
