Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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