can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize