Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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