I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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