There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
