just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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