Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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