Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
