Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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