South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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