No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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