Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
