she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
