the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize