no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
