yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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