Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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