Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize