what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
