Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
