I skipped work to stalk him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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