dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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