Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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