Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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