i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
