do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
