i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
