I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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