I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
