Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
