I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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