Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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