well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
