I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
