butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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