You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
