We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize