what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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