Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
