At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
