I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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