Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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