I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
the gays at disneyland are vicious
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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