Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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