Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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