you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
