Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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