nut hugger
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
