i don't like sucking hair
home. puking in laundry basket.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
