i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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