She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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