yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
