I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize