you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
