my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
