K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
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