sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
