he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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