Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you guys were way drunker than both of me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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