If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
