Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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